Someone sent this to me and I just had to share. This is too funny! I don’t know who wrote it, but I’d be happy to give credit where credit is due. Enjoy.

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Home Eating a Threat to Public Kitchens?
State Allows Growing Trend of Eating At Home
April 13, 2099
Reunited Press

After much heated debate on the house floor, legislation was passed today to allow a growing number of families to cook meals for their families in their homes. The children must have annual physical examinations to assure proper growth and weight gain. Attempts to require weekly meal plans and monthly kitchen inspections were voted down.

A spokesperson from the National Association of Nutritionists (NANs) condemns this decision. “These children are being denied the rich socialization and diversity that is an essential part of the eating process. Without the proper nutritional background, it is impossible for the average person to feed their own children. We, as child advocates, see this as a step backwards and speak out for the sake of the children who cannot speak for themselves.”

Homecooking parents say the benefits of eating at home include increased family unity and the ability to tailor a diet to a particular need. Elizabeth Crocker, a home cook, states, “We started cooking and eating at home when we realized that my son had a severe allergy to eggs. The public kitchens required him to take numerous medications that had serious side effects in order to counteract his allergy. We found that eliminating eggs was a simpler method and our son has thrived since we began doing so.”

After this experience, the Crockers decided to home cook for all of their children, and converted their media room into a kitchen. Elizabeth says, “We have experienced so much closeness as we have explored recipes and spent time cooking together and eating together. We have a dining circle with other families where we sometimes share ideas and meals together.”

The Crocker children have done well physically under their mother’s care, weighing in at optimum weights for their ages and having health records far above average. It should be noted that Mrs. Crocker, while not a professional nutritionist, has a family history rich with nutritionists and home economists. “Surely the success of the Crocker children is due to the background of their mother,” responded the spokesman from NANs. “The results they have achieved should not be viewed as normative.” Mrs. Crocker counters that her background was actually a hindrance to the nutritional principles she follows. “Our paternal great-grandmother was a home economist, but she prepared most meal from pre-made mixes. In our homecooking we try not to duplicate public-kitchen meals, but to tailor our meals to the needs and preferences of our children.”

In a related issue, legislation is in committee that would provide oversight for the emerging homecooking movement. Says the Home Eating Legal Defense Association (HELDA): “We want to provide umbrella kitchens to aid parents in the complicated tasks of feeding their children. Many families lack the expertise of the Crocker family, yet desire to eat at home. As we have seen, the umbrella kitchens meet the needs of all concerned. We are happy to provide this service.”

This past weekend I went on a women’s retreat. It was a great time and an enlightening experience. For the first time in my life I did something really fearful. Well, at least for me anyway. I’ve always thought of myself as somewhat brave, but I never put my physical body in harms way unless I have to.

Our women’s group stayed the high school camp of Pine Cove. One of the hallmark activities there is the zip line that comes down off of a high tower down through the pine trees. I decided to take a chance. I was a bit apprehensive, but I thought, “I can do this.”

As I started to strap on my harness and put on my helmet, I started thinking,”What am I doing?” “Am I nuts?” Then I thought, “If kids can do this, I can too.” I got on my gear and got my rope and started the climb up the tower. On the way up I remember thinking, “Am I there yet?” “How high is this thing?” Then I stepped out unto the platform and see how far the drop was and my stomach started to feel queasy. I was the last one up and the helper had started clipping everyone onto their safety ropes and explaining the rules. “Am I really going to do this?” I asked myself. He then clips us all onto our zip ropes and instructs us to sit down on the platform. He tells us that you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but if we’re ready to scoot forward and dangle our legs over. I’m looking down and thinking, “Lord be with me.” The helper now says to get into position and scoot forward so only our rear is on the platform and on his mark to lean forward to go off the platform. My heart is racing. “Am I going to do it?” I ask myself. “Yes, I am going to do this!” I have to.

He says go. Three of the four of us lean forward and off we go. I am scared out of my wits. I’m thinking, “What did I do?” But it’s too late. The initial drop was a free fall until the rope caught. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. Then next thing you know, I’m whizzing through the trees and it is so cool. Then it’s over.

So what did I learn in this? Sometimes the scariest thing in life is to take that initial step. But once you get over the fear and just do it, you just may find that it is a fun ride. On a spiritual note, I also learned that God is always there to help us along and He WILL catch us when we fall if we just trust in Him and don’t let our fears get the best of us.

What are you afraid of doing? Don’t you think it is about time that you take that next step?

Hi All,

This is just a heads up that I will be making some changes to my website very soon. I am so excited. My colors and designs will be changing as I switch gears in my life. I have great lady working on a really cool graphic for me that will be my new “online presence.” I can’t wait to show you all. Check back soon.

Also, if you read my blog, please let me know. There are no comments on my pages, but I know I have a few readers because they have told me so. Don’t be afraid to post. You only have to create an account to do so. The only reason for that is so I don’t have a bunch of people posting inappropriate things on my page. I won’t spam you or anything. lol.

Last week we experienced our first major allergy scare in a very long time. Two of my three kids have very severe allergies. Highest on their list: peanuts. Well my youngest, who is not allergic, went to his class for the day as usual. Parents take turns bringing in snacks for kids. This particular day the snack consisted of cookie dip sticks and individual containers of peanut butter. Youngest didn’t eat it bu it made it’s way home with us and up the stairs into his room in his backpack. Well one of the girls came into contact with it trying to be a big helper and bringing it down to the kitchen knowing it shouldn’t be upstairs. All of this occured right as we were sitting to dinner. I had no idea what had just transpired since I was busy getting food on the table. As we sit and start eating. I see my little one’s face starting to turn red, then hives starting to form. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I knew she wasn’t eaing anything she wasn’t supposed to have, or at least I thought she wasn’t. So, I’m thinking contaminated food. But the other one wasn’t having a reaction. So I go to get some benadryl and no benadryl! How did this happen. I’m searching all over the place. Where’s th epipen just in case. Found the epipen. But where in the owrld is the benadryl. Call the neighbor. Does she have any? I don;t have time to keep looking. Yes, she has some. Come on. Let’s go for a walk. Whew! Benadryl stpped the reaction. So, what happened? It was then I learned from hubby that she’d brought down the container of peanut butter. It have never been opened, but just touching the container was enough. Fortunately, we didn’t have to get her to a hospital again.But we learned a valuable lesson. Which brings me to an interesting point:

Why do comapnies continue to mass produce items and cross contaminate products? With the surge in allergies these days, why aren’t better manufacturing policies in place? Also, you ever wonder why there are so many allergies these days? What are we doing to our environment and our food supply? Genetically engineered food? Why?

Last, what’s a parent to do when one of there other allergens is corn? We now have corn based plastics use for food packaging, plastic cups, plates and knives and the like. They are not required to put warning labels on their packaging. I fear the world my preceious children have to grow up in.